Life is all about choices.
We are faced with choices daily. From things as little as what shoes to wear, to life altering decisions that can impact not only us, but those around us as well. I was recently faced with one of those choices.
I had been working for a company for three years right out of college. Long hours and hard work propelled me forward. I had an office, a really fancy management title, and was making a very comfortable income. I had bought a new house, a luxury car, and had a nice 401k rolling. I had it “all”.
Except fulfillment.
I always have had this deep desire to create something of my own. To blaze a trail of my own and do things my way. For the past several months my journal entries had reflected that I was happy, but not fulfilled. My gut was telling me to make the change and take the leap. I was faced with the choice:
Faith or fear?
I knew what I wanted. I just couldn’t find the faith to listen. To be honest, I was living in fear. Fear of my job. Fear of not being able to pay my bills. Fear of what others would think of me if I left. Fear of letting my family and fiancé down. Fear of never fulfilling the dreams in my heart and ending up broke on the streets.
I was controlled and consumed by fear. I was living but I wasn’t alive. I think those two words create such a powerful dichotomy that most people aren’t aware of. Everyone lives, but only few are truly alive. Can I tell you a secret?
I realized that fear isn’t real. We create our fears. We are fighting battles and scenarios that are figments of our vivid imagination. The first battle we lose is always within our own mind.
Can you relate?
Have you ever made yourself sick with worry about something that hasn’t even happened yet? Why are we so good at feeding fear? I’ve learned that fear is a very hungry beast. The more we feed it, the more it will grow. I’ve come to realize we have a choice in the matter.
We can choose to feed the fear and give life to the very thing that we don’t want. Or, we can feed our faith. Steve Jobs said that we inherently know exactly what we want. We just have to have the courage to follow our hearts. My mentor said something similar when he told me that my gut was always right. I just had to be brave enough to listen. Those are powerful words.
So, if our gut is always right why is it so damn hard to listen?
It comes down to a fear of the unknown. We are afraid of things that we have not yet seen or done. Our daily routines give a certain level of safety because it is known to us. We know how to deal with it. We can remain almost asleep and be content with just getting by.
I realized I was asleep in life. I was just going through the motions of life, but not truly living. Have you ever felt that way? Like you are meant for something more then where you are at today? I realized that I must step out of the known and into the unknown if I wanted the dreams in my heart to become real. The unknown forces you to be awake and alive. New growth takes place as soon as you step out of your comfort zone into the unknown. If you are full of fear you can not move beyond the known. It requires a leap of faith.
Once I realized this I was able to break the chains that fear held over my mind by asking myself one simple question.
If I was going to die tomorrow, am I living today exactly how I want to?
The answer? Hell no.
Another question I asked my self is:
If I loved myself truly and deeply, what would I do?
Once I asked those questions, the answer was simple.
I also accepted the fact that I am going to die one day, and none of this will matter.
Money won’t matter.
The title I had won’t matter.
The car I drive and the house I live in won’t matter.
What will matter was the relationships I had, the lives I impacted, and the memories I created. We will all look back on our life one day and either have fulfillment or regret.I’ve learned the only safe body is a dead body. Remembering that we are inevitably going to die someday, is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking we have something to lose by going for what we really want.
So, I went for it.
Did the world come crashing down on me?
Nope. I actually felt more relieved and relaxed then I have in the last few months. There is a redemptive quality that comes with making a choice. There is power when you decide how things will be, instead of always feeling like you have no control. You can decide to be the cause, and not the affect. It’s your choice.
I’m very blessed to have a circle of people who support my dreams and goals. My fiancé has been my number one fan since the day we met, when I was a broke trainer just hoping to make it into a dietetics program. My dad always pushed me to believe in myself and pursue my dreams. I think who you surround yourself with is a huge factor when you make a decision like this.
So What Now?
I go back to the original question I always ask myself.
If I loved myself truly and deeply, what would I do?
I am going to focus on what makes me happy which is using my videos and my blog to help those in need find the health they deserve. To help those with a pain. To inspire others and change lives.
I am going to write and create content with passion and purpose. My mission is to help 100,000 people by the year 2020 get healthy without dieting or restrictions. I don’t have an exact perfect plan on how to accomplish this. If I had all the answers it wouldn’t require any struggle, pain, or frustration. All of which are required for growth. So, I am going to surrender to faith, put in the work, and let life take care of the rest.
My message to you is if you feel like you are stuck or unhappy in your current situation remember you have a simple choice every day.
Faith or fear?
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of worrying about situations that may or may not ever happen.
Fear of what others may think of you.
Fear of never realizing your dreams
Or, faith to believe in yourself.
Faith to bet on yourself.
Faith to trust yourself.
Faith to accept the higher standards you know you are meant for.
The biggest mistake I think anyone can make is assuming we have endless amounts of time. Life is fleeting, which is what makes it so precious and beautiful.
I beg you to do one thing.
Ask yourself every day and be BRUTALLY honest with yourself.
Are you happy? Are you living life on your terms? Are you following what’s in your heart? If not, I challenge you to be brave enough to make a change. To be brave enough to follow your heart.
To live in faith, not fear.
